PENIS VS. VAGINA

Don't start with the crazy looks already,  but YES i do have penis envy, before u judge me I'll tell you why... This story is called "If i Only had a Penis..."

                                            

        I'd trade my Ovaries and vag for a penis ANYDAY, I'd even though in the boobies for free. Let me explain why I would give these things up. As pretty as boobs are to look at, they are annoying as shit to deal with. I would love to do cool things like run, without worrying about my boobs, And i personally don't think its fun that i have to slightly lean over just to see my feet (small boobie girls should feel fortunate) i feel bad for women like this...        

                                         

 

As for the vag and ovaries, Jeez do I even need to go over what happens every month.... GRrRrR! but on top of that i have to look forward to pushing a watermelon size baby out my keyhole size vag.... NOT HAPPY.  (Don't worry I wont put up a picture of that...)

          Now if i had penis i wouldn't have all that to worry about, No real need for the balls though cause if i was a guy i wouldn't want to procreate. If i did have kids I'd probably be a deadbeat dad, I would be too busy Plugging anything with a hole even somethings without. Kinda like how a lot of guys are already #ZING! lol  I would be the BIGGEST PERV in the universe. I would whack off discreetly in public places every five minutes, just cause i could...  (and i know guys can cause I've seen it happen) (<-Traumatizing story we'll leave that for another post) You guys have no idea how cool you have it, your junk is ON THE OUTSIDE, you could inspect it all day, and I like to think that given my boobs size I would be hung like a horse (If breasts sizes and penis sizes were equivalent of course)  Stepping away from the sexual benefits, with penis comes Testosterone and lets face it I've always wanted to play FOOTBALL... =) 

                                           

Little Disclamier:

I am not about to have a sex change... #Imjustsaying Don't worry I am well aware of the POWER OF THE VAG!                                   

                                        LOL

Ode to Psycho girlfriend...

Do u have a psycho girlfriend?

Does she nag about everything you do?

Do feel that she is overly jealous and possessive over anything that moves and or breathes next to you?

Do you fear for ur and or her life if you end the relationship?

If you said yes to any of these questions  then u have a psycho girlfriend and a serious problem.

                             

I am sure ur saying she the most “REAL!!!” person you can find and its because she loves you that she is like that. but let me just say  SHE IS JUST CRAZY! I know i am not the first person to tell you this, your friends and your family have all probably told u this at one point or  another. but still you continue in the relationship. WHY? Is it because she gives u the feeling that no one could care about u in a normal healthy way?

You probably even say  ”but she is the only person that has been there for me” but that probably cause she has threaten to physically hurt any girl or guy that has tried to get near you. and what the hell is REAL!! anyway? its a sad excuse to be ignorant and childish. Its one thing to be outspoken and blunt with people but being snobby and a bitchy to everyone of the same sex and some of the opposite,  is just plan retarded.” Don’t hate on Beyonce, or Shakira  because ur man is looking  at her”  She is hot and she CAN sing, she not out to steal ur man, and SOOOO WHAT if he says he is in love with her  ITS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!!! Your just mad that u can’t do what she does.

Trying to fight every girl that comes near ur man is not ”real”  its psycho and stupid.  And what is up with these girls that hate theirs man’s friends because it doesn’t allow her to spend every waking second with him.. GET A LIFE** And here is a fact, jealousy is not proof that she like or loves you, it is  signs of insecurity and possibly that she doesn’t trust you.

Why can’t these guys get rid of these Psycho girls?? THERE ARE girls out there that show u they care  by doing things like kissing you and telling you how much they love you, not by  yelling at u that a girl 20 feet away is too f**king close to you. Can’t you see she so possessive of you she is two seconds from PEEING ON YOU to mark her territory. A girl like that doesn’t need a boyfriend she needs a F**KING STRAIGHT JACKET***

LETS PUT AN END TO THE MADNESS GUYS.. LOSE THE BITCH!!!!!

Note to those girls:

Don’t go and try to contact every girl that he knows and interrogate all of them cause contrary to how GANGSTER u think and say u are, u are going to end up  messing with the wrong person and (Very nicely put) getting seriously hurt. So do yourself a favor Quit while your ahead