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Proper gym etiquette from a girl meat head

I may be girlie girl but when it comes to the gym I am a straight up meat head (I am talking anything you can do, I can do better) so when I go and I find way too many things wrong with some of the people that go and the things they do it BOILS MY BLOOD Here is me VENTING...

#FYI Staring at person thru the mirror doesn't mean that they won't notice you staring at them (it throws off a person's workout) There has been too many times where I've been in awkward situations at the gym and had crazy stalker like people stare at me like I'm a slice of pizza, do me a favor and OFF Your self you are messing up my precious gym time.

Girls girls girls PLEASE stop putting on COats of makeup to the gym!!!! or NOT because it does CRACKS me up when I see you girls leave the gym looking like this...

 

WHY SO SERIOUS???? lol

Guys, Don't automatically assume because I am a girl that I have NO idea what I am doing as far as working out goes. (Unless you are a personal trainer DO NOT try and give me stupid pointers.) Especially if you are one of those Rrr-tards that curl a 50 pound dumbbell once then move on to another body part. 

#GYMDOUCHEBAGSALERT!!!!

To the girl that wears the shorts that when she bends down I can see her entire VAG!  GO THE FUCK HOME u WHORE!!!  You are the reason guys don't take girls seriously at the gym.

SEEE you can't stop STARING!!!!!

***LADIES just because it is spandex DOES NOT mean its is proper GYM attire.***

                                                   

Acknowledge the fact that if a person has headphones on that they are probably not listening to ur stupid small talk about how long you've been going to the gym and what you are trying to accomplish, Cause I surely could not care LESS.

I AM NOT LISTENING!!!!!!

Girls if ur going to gym, walking around and bullshitting on machines just to check out guys, Move THE F**K over when someone who is actually working out needs the machine.

***Hygiene!!!!*** Deodorant BEFORE going to the gym. I understand gym makes you sweat and you are not going to smell your freshest but its like some people bath in ONIONS & ASS before going to gym. DISGUSTING!!!

P.S Please wipe the sweat and butt juice off of the machines after you get off, I'll be sure to do the same Thank you :-)

                                                                        

PENIS VS. VAGINA

Don't start with the crazy looks already,  but YES i do have penis envy, before u judge me I'll tell you why... This story is called "If i Only had a Penis..."

                                            

        I'd trade my Ovaries and vag for a penis ANYDAY, I'd even though in the boobies for free. Let me explain why I would give these things up. As pretty as boobs are to look at, they are annoying as shit to deal with. I would love to do cool things like run, without worrying about my boobs, And i personally don't think its fun that i have to slightly lean over just to see my feet (small boobie girls should feel fortunate) i feel bad for women like this...        

                                         

 

As for the vag and ovaries, Jeez do I even need to go over what happens every month.... GRrRrR! but on top of that i have to look forward to pushing a watermelon size baby out my keyhole size vag.... NOT HAPPY.  (Don't worry I wont put up a picture of that...)

          Now if i had penis i wouldn't have all that to worry about, No real need for the balls though cause if i was a guy i wouldn't want to procreate. If i did have kids I'd probably be a deadbeat dad, I would be too busy Plugging anything with a hole even somethings without. Kinda like how a lot of guys are already #ZING! lol  I would be the BIGGEST PERV in the universe. I would whack off discreetly in public places every five minutes, just cause i could...  (and i know guys can cause I've seen it happen) (<-Traumatizing story we'll leave that for another post) You guys have no idea how cool you have it, your junk is ON THE OUTSIDE, you could inspect it all day, and I like to think that given my boobs size I would be hung like a horse (If breasts sizes and penis sizes were equivalent of course)  Stepping away from the sexual benefits, with penis comes Testosterone and lets face it I've always wanted to play FOOTBALL... =) 

                                           

Little Disclamier:

I am not about to have a sex change... #Imjustsaying Don't worry I am well aware of the POWER OF THE VAG!                                   

                                        LOL

Ode to Psycho girlfriend...

Do u have a psycho girlfriend?

Does she nag about everything you do?

Do feel that she is overly jealous and possessive over anything that moves and or breathes next to you?

Do you fear for ur and or her life if you end the relationship?

If you said yes to any of these questions  then u have a psycho girlfriend and a serious problem.

                             

I am sure ur saying she the most “REAL!!!” person you can find and its because she loves you that she is like that. but let me just say  SHE IS JUST CRAZY! I know i am not the first person to tell you this, your friends and your family have all probably told u this at one point or  another. but still you continue in the relationship. WHY? Is it because she gives u the feeling that no one could care about u in a normal healthy way?

You probably even say  ”but she is the only person that has been there for me” but that probably cause she has threaten to physically hurt any girl or guy that has tried to get near you. and what the hell is REAL!! anyway? its a sad excuse to be ignorant and childish. Its one thing to be outspoken and blunt with people but being snobby and a bitchy to everyone of the same sex and some of the opposite,  is just plan retarded.” Don’t hate on Beyonce, or Shakira  because ur man is looking  at her”  She is hot and she CAN sing, she not out to steal ur man, and SOOOO WHAT if he says he is in love with her  ITS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!!! Your just mad that u can’t do what she does.

Trying to fight every girl that comes near ur man is not ”real”  its psycho and stupid.  And what is up with these girls that hate theirs man’s friends because it doesn’t allow her to spend every waking second with him.. GET A LIFE** And here is a fact, jealousy is not proof that she like or loves you, it is  signs of insecurity and possibly that she doesn’t trust you.

Why can’t these guys get rid of these Psycho girls?? THERE ARE girls out there that show u they care  by doing things like kissing you and telling you how much they love you, not by  yelling at u that a girl 20 feet away is too f**king close to you. Can’t you see she so possessive of you she is two seconds from PEEING ON YOU to mark her territory. A girl like that doesn’t need a boyfriend she needs a F**KING STRAIGHT JACKET***

LETS PUT AN END TO THE MADNESS GUYS.. LOSE THE BITCH!!!!!

Note to those girls:

Don’t go and try to contact every girl that he knows and interrogate all of them cause contrary to how GANGSTER u think and say u are, u are going to end up  messing with the wrong person and (Very nicely put) getting seriously hurt. So do yourself a favor Quit while your ahead

The All Singing All Dancing Crap of the World...

I recently saw someone write "why is everyone all of a sudden trying to be famous" I thought this was HILARIOUS cause it happen to be coming from a group of people that STRIVE to be HIP. Buying the newest designers brands just to say they were the first, Partying everyday of the week just to say "because they can." My point here is that "LOOK WHO IS TALKING" or "Look at pot calling the kettle black" We have all been star struck at one point and wish we would have the lifestyles of the rich and the famous. SO what, thats no reason to get all malignant. We are all in the same boat, Products of a consumer society. We all need to take a step back, and relax... Watch a movie, one that could aid in self reflection ie: FIght Club. I think we all can learn a lot from Mr. Tyler Durden.

"In the world I see... you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway." - Tyler Durden

And remember...

SHUT UP WOMAN GET ON MY HORSE!

This was brought to my attention by my Beau Nino Greenz, At first i thought it was kinda stupid but after 7 times you can't help but laugh and sing along...
ENJOY!!!----------------->http://shutupwomangetonmyhorse.com/

ARE U A SOCIAL NETWORK DOUCHEBAG??

***NOT IN ANY SPECIFIC ORDER***

1. (Facebook) You Update your status EVERY 5 minutes. (I don't think Jesus himself has THAT much to say...)

2. (Twitter) You re-tweet everything ANYONE tweets to you. (call me crazy i don't think anyone wants to see your entire POINTLESS conversation with random people no matter how flattering the tweets are.)

3. (Facebook) You are CONSTANTLY Poking all your friends. (WHERE THE F**K IS THE BREAK THE POKER'S FINGERS BUTTON!!!!)

4. (Twitter) You Send out at least 20 tweets for each of the trending topics. (WTF Are u trying to beat some tweet record, SERIOUSLY lay off the post button)

5. (Facebook) sending out TOO MANY application invitations. (HOLY F**K NUTS! If i get ONE more motherF**KING Farmville invite i will go on a farm animal KILLING spree.)

6. (Twitter) You have Irrelevant tweeting tendencies... (for example: Going to work, On my way home, taking a dump, wiping my ass... & etc.)

7. (Facebook, Myspace) You have EVIL TAGGING HABITS. (PLEASE PLEASE if I happen to come out in the back of one of your pictures with my finger lodged in my nose have the common courtesy not to tag me in it...)

8. (Myspace) You consider yourself a promoter and send out CLUB FLYERS!!! (I have nothing to say but... SMH) (for the people that are responsible for them QUIT THE HACKING!!!)

9. (ALL SOCIAL NETWORKS) two words INTERNET GANGSTER.... (Here is where the SAB [SLAP A BITCH] button need to be installed on computers EVERYWHERE.)

10. (Facebook, Myspace) RANDOM friend requests.... (Just because I saw u once before in the street or cause I went to high school with your friend's cousin's sister DOES NOT mean we are friends)

Feel free to add to this... (I LOVE COMMENTS!!!)